Posts Tagged ‘beef’


I sat down to write this piece as I watched some of the well-known faces of the mainstream media (MSM) erupt in an orgasmic frenzy because Tunde ke kabab in Lucknow closed on Thursday for a few hours as they ran out of beef. They couldn’t get the meat for their original shop in Chowk where they serve kabab of buffalo meat and had to make other arrangements. They are an 112-year old kabab joint, so they obviously hit the headlines for the wrong reasons.

Did someone force them to shut down? No one did. Were there any grievous injuries to the people in Lucknow because of that? No. Did someone die? Nothing of that sort happened, but some journalists from the ecosystem called Lutyen’s Delhi living roughly 488kms away began beating their chests and breaking their bangles as if someone really had expired. And with that, the Indian mainstream media dug another hole in the ground to bury itself another few feet into an early grave.

After 31 years in the media I look around me and wonder – Is this the same profession that I slogged in, putting everything – family, money and personal life – on the backburner for? Now that I am a work-from-home editor I can sit back and watch all this in a detached kind of way, as some elements of the mainstream media (MSM), among who are people who I once respected, go around behaving like a bunch of complete jerkoffs. Was this the biggest story around that sent them into a freaking frenzy, especially on the social media? I have no wish to take names but some of them tripped over their own feet to wail about the kabab joint closing as if someone had died in their family.

I have a lot of good friends in the media, they are all hardworking, almost invisible to the world outside. They do their jobs well, and I know they are damn good journalists because I have seen them at work. These are the journalists you won’t see on your TV screens. They shy away from the limelight, do their jobs, and go home to their families. We disagree on a lot of things, but I respect them and their views, and they mine. Because I know deep down, they are honest to their profession, just like so many doctors who take the Hippocratic Oath. Whenever I have called them for information on a subject I want to write about they have willingly given it to me. I respect them for that. I spoke to a couple of them when I started to write this blog, so a lot of the information here is from them. They will remain anonymous because that is how they would want it.

When I asked one of them (N) last night, what he thought of the over-the-top reaction of the media to the incident, he said. “I have stopped watching the news and reading their columns. I do my job honestly, go home and play with my daughter instead.”

Here is what another Muslim journalist from Lucknow, who I’ll call K, said to me over twitter, “Most people here including my learned journalist friends in the media do not know the difference between beef and cow meat. Beef is not necessarily cow meat, and I have never ever in my life seen a cow being slaughtered in Lucknow although we did get to hear about the occasional story of it being slaughtered in some remote Muslim dominated village purely to spark off communal tension.”

The problem, however, goes deeper. It is about do-gooder first-time chief minister doing what he promised and a bureaucracy which, in an effort to please its master, is going over the top, just like some journalists. The anti-romeo squad is another example of a good thing being messed up by over-enthusiastic volunteers.

“The new chief minister could have handled it better, but the bureaucracy went into overdrive to please him and undid things. There has been no meat available for the people in the last 48 hours, and butchers are scared they will be harassed. They have also been told by the police not to open their shops,” said N. “If the new CM really wants to save cows, he will have to.close the mechanised slaughter houses. Nothing else can save cows in the State not even this vigilantism,” he added.

The various town administrations should have created the right perception but instead, they went about indulging in populist measures to please the CM, which could backfire. They could have asked the civic bodies to determine how licenced meat shops have been functioning this long and could have passed an order that only the licenced ones operate within the prescribed limits. Instead, they have gone after all and sundry and that has created a huge shortage in the market and a lot of unhappiness among the locals.

Anyway, that is the problem of shortage at a kakab joint and meat in UP. What happened to the dumbasses in the media? Of course, this isn’t anything new. It’s been happening over the course of the past two years for very obvious reasons. It began soon after Narendra Modi forced his way into the Lutyen’s Delhi in May 2014 and hasn’t stopped. Every few months, be it an award wapasi, a protest at the Jawaharlal Nehru University, (JNU), or the uproar that erupts over the mindless incidents of some minister or MP shooting his or her mouth off, these incidents happen just around the time of an election and disappear once the results are declared depending on whether the objectives of the MSM and their masters ensconced in Lutyens Delhi have been achieved. There is, however, one common link to all these eruptions. They occur only in BJP-ruled states. Murders, assaults and riots are happening elsewhere in places such as Kerala and Bengal with monotonous regularity, but the MSM is oblivious to those. So, like all those earlier incidents of manufactured outrage, this too looks like just another award wapasi farce, only this time it was wrapped around a kabab.

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Getting mad about anything

Posted: October 2, 2015 in Cow
Tags: , , ,

Comedians and actors had better not think of cracking jokes that have the words “stupid cow” or “beef” in them, for more than one reason now. Not that that the first reason of equating women with a cow is any less insulting, but the second reason is because in the last 16 months people have rediscovered the importance of the cow in their lives, and if offended they are willing to kill for it. In other words, killing a cow is inhumane, but killing a human being who ALLEGEDLY kills a cow is all in a day’s work for some.

Actually, in recent times, one has noticed this desperate urge by anyone to make a hue and cry about anything that gets his or her goat. Uh oh…

People killing a man who they thought had beef in his house is the most dangerous thing I‘ve heard in a long time. It basically means we are going to have vigilantes barging into homes on a whim and then getting away with murder. And it doesn’t surprise me when politicians support this kind of murderous behaviour and demand their release. After all, many of them have graduated to politics from the same ranks. So we will soon come to a stage in this county when we won’t be requiring the police and judiciary because summary justice will be meted out by vigilantes.

What surprises me is the new found affection for the cow, which roams the streets, sleeps on the footpath and scavenges the bins for food, does not include bringing it into your home and giving it a place to sleep, and nursing it. I guess that’s too expensive. So much easier to give it some food and push it out of the way as you leave for the temple or club for a game of tennis.

Here’s a quote from Mahatma Gandhi on the subject, whose birth anniversary falls tomorrow. I do not agree with all his views but here goes: “I do not know how this question (Will the Muslims be allowed to eat their national food-beef under a Hindu majority Government?) arises. For, whilst Congressmen were in office, they are not known to have interfered with the practice of beef-eating by Muslims. The question is also badly conceived. There is no such thing as Hindu majority Government.

“It is, moreover, not true to say that beef is the national food of Muslims. In the first place, the Muslims of India are not as yet a separate nation. IN the second, beef is not their ordinary food. Their ordinary food is the same as that of the millions. What is true is that there are very few Muslims who are vegetarians from religious motive. Therefore, they will take meat, including beef, when they can get it. But during the greater part of the years, millions of Muslims, owing to poverty, go without meat of any kind. These are facts. But the theoretical question demands a clear answer. As a Hindu, a confirmed vegetarian, and a worshipper of the cow whom I regard with the same veneration as I regard my mother (alas, no more on this earth!) I maintain that Muslims should have full freedom to slaughter cows, if they wish, subject of course to hygienic restrictions and in a manner not to wound the susceptibilities of their Hindu neighbours. Fullest recognition of freedom to the Muslims to slaughter cows is indispensable of communal harmony, and is the only way of saving cow.”

And to end that another line from the great man: “As a Musalman friend writes, beef eating which is merely permissible in Islam will become a duty, if compulsion is resorted to by Hindus.”

So is that what it is all about?

Now to get to the light side of getting mad about anything.

On Thursday, a national daily carried a story about a school that forcibly got a student’s hair cut from the school barber. I am shocked that the editor of a reputed national newspaper even entertained his reporter when he came to him with such an idiotic story. I would have asked him if he had a fever.

ALL school students know the rules of the school and some students keep long/spiked hair to defy those rules. So when they defy the rules they should get punished. My son had naturally spiked hair when it was cut to school standards, and he had a hard time explaining to his prefects that he did not use a spray to spike his hair, and he even offered to wash it and show it them to prove it.

The funny thing is this kid in the hair cut story is quoted as saying that he had gum stuck in his hair because he was chewing gum in school! The guy has no remorse whatsoever at breaking the rules and he is proud to say so in as many words, but is upset because his peers made fun of him after his haircut? I am surprised that parents don’t ask their children when they see them leaving for school that way.  My folks would order me off to barber every time they thought my hair was getting a little long. I remember being sent to the barber one evening when I was in the 8th Class. My dorm teacher sent me packing all the way to East Street for a snip, even though my hair was short. I returned only to be told it wasn’t good enough and was sent off again. The second time the exasperated barber left little on the head. I had to grin and bear the jibes  of “aye Taklu” for weeks. I think back and remember and my exact views were “the bloody bugger thinks he’s still in the army.” I was too young to use ‘f*****g bastard’! If I had gone to the editor of a paper to voice my grievance I would have been laughed out of his office with a spank on my backside.