On staying connected…

Posted: January 31, 2010 in friendship

Friendship is a funny thing.

You can talk to someone after 30 years and it’s like nothing’s changed in all these years. And you can stay next door to someone for months and not talk to the person over such a trivial issue. Isn’t it a waste of life?

You don’t keep in touch with someone for six months and you hear the guy has gone through a personal crisis – two heart attacks within a week and a heart surgery. And you say, “Shit! I should have called.”

And then you talk to someone 20,000+ miles away, who you haven’t spoken to in 35 years because as friends you had a fall out. And after that one moment of awkwardness, it’s like nothing had ever gone wrong between the two of you.

So when I got a call from a friend earlier in the evening telling me that a common friend Sunny had two heart attacks, it was like a wake up call.

And then there was this other friend who I connected with after almost 30 years. We hadn’t spoken to each other over an issue that today seems like such a waste of time. He tracked me down through AOL and my address and phone number from the Internet. The funny thing is that when he called, my wife wondered why he was calling her after so long – they were colleagues at the hotel after I had quit the same place!

Then he asked her if she was married to the same guy who worked in that hotel and by the end of it all, it was madness! When he called me my first instinct was to put the phone down. Then I gave him a piece of my mind and all he said was sorry for everything that had happened 30 years ago! I guess after that there’s really nothing much to swear about. It made me reflect on friendships and on the importance of staying connected.

The problem happens when two people believe the other should take the first step and neither one does. I too could have sat on my high horse, but I am glad I didn’t. I guess life’s too short to worry about these little foibles.

Sorry is such a simple word isn’t it? Solves so many problems – even if half the time we don’t mean it! Like my son. From his tongue, sorry rolls out like bottles in a soft drink factory. He doesn’t mean a word of what he says, but there’s nothing either my wife or I can do!

  1. Pradeep Menon says:

    I so agree. When one thinks long and hard, one realizes that it is actually so easy to say sorry. There are times in life when I have not said sorry, and I regret all of them now. I have learnt the hard way that whether it is my fault or not, I must say sorry first. Period.

    I can’t imagine talking to a person after three decades! Must be such a weird feeling!

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